It is often difficult to admit that this person existed.
I placed my lunch into my food journal today and saw that I had a notification that had been there for a few days. It said that I had lost more than 75 pounds since I first started recording my food choices six years ago.
There have only been a few people that have decided to focus on the negative. Mainly how small the portions are that I can eat. People assume I must be starving but the truth is, I’m not. You read that fact all the time in bariatric blogs and you think “this person must be crazy, how can you not feel hungry?” You really don’t. Since surgery I’ve lost about thirty-five pounds. I’ve also been running about 2-3 times a week and fully ran my first 5K the other night at practice in 45:16. I told everyone there that I don’t think i’ve ever run a full 5K, i’ve always run walked. I have official 5K’s this weekend and next weekend.
My aunt asked me the other night if I had cravings still. Of course I do! Ugh. I still crave diet soda and I weep at the fact that beer is a fond memory. It’s been hard because cooking for one is hard enough on its own but now cooking for one and having leftovers from the single portion you dished out is just tough. I throw away a lot of food and that makes me feel horrible and wasteful. Right now it is easier for me to purchase meals from restaurants when I want something hot and then cut up half of it and save the other have for lunch. Chicken curries, asian lettuce wraps, Wendy’s chili, kids meals (hoping i’ll be able to eat A fry and then succumbing to the fact that I cannot)
Parties are sometimes hard too, seeing everyone drink as much as they want and eat all types of food while I search out what I think I might be able to try is just emotionally exhausting. And how do you really explain that to someone? Can you even explain that to someone? I know to try and have more events that aren’t centered around food or to host parties so I can control what the food offerings will be. It’s just a lot to think about.
So what do I look like right now?
Well it’s odd. I lose weight in my face first and then in the upper parts of my body. I’m still measuring my progress and still taking full body pictures so I can see the difference. I don’t know if I will share them yet. There was a week or two where I regretted the surgery. They tell you everyone goes through it. However, I can honestly say that I am glad I had the surgery. I mean it’s helped cut down my race time and I’m super happy about that.