Purée, hooray?

If you look up puréed food on Pinterest it gives you tons of baby food ideas. However, if you add in for adults, all of a sudden every suggestion is for an alcoholic beverage. 

I’m excited for my egg beaters in the morning. I’m just hoping to feel better. My drain was taken out yesterday.  

Besides it being the strangest feeling ever, it now let’s my right side heal. It’s the same pain as in running when you are exhaling and hitting your footfalls incorrectly. Just a side stich, nothing a little rest shouldn’t care of. If I could only obtain rest. 

There is no comfortable way of sleeping right now. I’m a stomach sleeper naturally so that’s been out for a week. With the drain in I could at least sleep on my left side. Right now my breath is too shallow and every position an inconvenience. 

All I can do is rest and continue on with the next stage of the healing diet. (Stage 2: puréed food) However anyone who knew me after my car accident and broken collarbone knows, I have a hard time resting. 

Actually anyone who knows me in general knows, I have a hard time being at rest. The ankle rehab lasted six weeks in March and I watched 157 different titles of TV & movies. So…I feel like I’ve watched everything on the Internet. I’ve given a few new series the three episode tries but nothing has stuck. I broke out the National Parks coloring book yesterday and it was nice but I needed to be more upright. 

I’m starting to feel lonely. Only because I’m limited and I don’t even know what to ask for in support. For most of those I casually hang out with (where by casually I mean make no plans but still managed to do something) it’s the busiest time of their year. I knew this going into surgery and I knew that I’d have very limited access to them. It just becomes hard when all you want is for them to sit and do nothing with you but they don’t have time to sit and do nothing. 

I know many will read this and be like I’d do nothing with you, Hollie. I know you would but I’d feel anxious if we hadn’t already gotten to that level of sitting comfortably in a quiet room together. So while I love you for being there, it would just stress me out. 

Tomorrow or well today, I hope to find a comfortable reading position and break into the book Chrissy sent me Rising Strong by Brene Brown. She is one of my favorite social scientists who gave a great TED talk on vulnerability. The tag line for the book is The manifesto for the brave and broken-hearted. It really means the world that Chrissy is the one who gave it to me. She’s seen me at my worst and cheers me on with each new success and adventure. So I’m hoping to find a comfortable position without using pain medication so I can fully dive into the book. 

This is all just another step in the process. I just hate that the process is so boring.